I’ve been through a real slump lately. It’s hard to keep my energy up, especially when I’m not seeing dramatic results.
HOWEVER, all is not lost. I have learned some things about myself and I think the more self-aware you the more productive you can be. It’s like being a mechanic and trying to fix a car. If you know how the car is built and what it needs you can get it going quicker and more efficiently than if you’ve never seen under the hood of a car and randomly hit things with a spanner hoping it will spring into life.
Lesson 1) I’m ridiculously easy to overwhelm.
Answer: Break things down in to really small chunks. Recognise small achievements. Stop trying to do so much.
Lesson 2) I’m very impatient
Answer: Look to the greats and see how long it took them. Or re-read my post on Patience and Perseverance.
Lesson 3) NO ONE is going to give me ‘permission’ to do the things I want to do.
Answer: Stop waiting for permission and make it happen.
This is what I want to focus on now. So far on my journey a lot of people have said ‘That is not possible/realistic’. Some people are supportive and tell me to go for it. My mentors (via courses/books/websites/blogs) are saying ‘We’ve already done it and so can you!’
I’m thinking it’s possible because they’ve told me and they’ve given me indirect permission to chase dreams. However, whenever I have a new idea I always look to see if it’s been done before and if it hasn’t I mope and bite my bottom lip and wish I had someone to talk to about it.
Tonight, as I got out my car, I was enjoying another mini taste of freedom. I was on my own, was doing what I wanted, when I wanted and how I wanted. Walking back to my flat I felt like my freedom was dissolving around me as I heard the usual neighbours shouting angrily at each other, a baby crying somewhere and music blaring. I started feeling trapped again and worried about the future and when I could finally move to a nicer neighbourhood and be free.
Then something occurred to. I need to STOP asking for permission, even from the people I admire. Just because something hasn’t been done (YET!) doesn’t mean it can’t be done at all. Maybe someone else who tried it didn’t have what I have, maybe the time wasn’t right, the audience wasn’t ready or the resources not available. I realised that in some ways I was holding myself back. This is not a new idea, many other people have thought of it before me. But I am also learning that unless an idea strikes you just right and you learn it for yourself, it doesn’t influence you as much.
I need to STOP:
- asking for permission
- restricting my thinking
- listening to negative people
- thinking I need to be given the green light to even try
- trying to conform to other people’s expectations
- trying to do things the way everyone else does them
Who is anyone else to give me permission to chase my goals?!
For about 7 years I’ve had this urge to write a motivational book. One thing I love to do is encourage people to make the most of their time, talents, skills and life in general. When I was 19, it hit me how short and precious life is and since then I’ve wanted to help other people realise this too and get the most out of their time.
The only problem is, I’m not some legendary motivational speaker with a ton of stories to back up my points. Nor am I particularly successful (yet). I thought to myself, who on earth will listen to somebody like me? Then I realised two things. One, this book idea isn’t going anywhere. It’s like indigestion. I’ll be going about my normal day life and then it rears its head and stops me in my tracks and I have to take note. Two, the author of ‘Think and Grow Rich’, Napoleon Hill, was not a rich or conventionally successful man himself. He simply investigated what successful people did and wrote it down into a book.
Therefore, strand two of my journey to freedom will be this book. My desire for it will be to encourage people, to inspire people and get them excited about their lives. I want to throw in some motivational science and theories I’ve learnt about that will help people propel themselves forward.
So, if you have any stories of what you’ve done to achieve any amount of success or fulfilment in your life, do let me know and I’ll add it to the book. Also, I’ll be using you guys for accountability purposes. I will struggle to finish this book on my own (somewhere I have 8000 words of a book I started about five years ago that I didn’t finish).
New York Best Sellers List, here I come!
I’ve noticed a change this week. Not a dramatic one but enough to make a difference. One of the sayings I love is ‘If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep getting what you’ve always got.’
I have a habit of starting something and then giving up when I get bored or it gets difficult. I lack patience and the ability to persevere. However, despite not feeling well at all the last couple of weeks, it’s finally been driven home that if I quit this time, in a year or ten years or thirty years I will still be bored out of my brain, stuck in a 9-5, desperately unhappy and nothing will ever change.
Quitting is no longer an option.
At the risk of sounding like my life is now a cheesy 80’s motivational montage from a Rocky film, I want to assure you it’s not. For example, if it was I’d be cheerfully selling loads of t-shirts, working hard but doing well etc. However, apart from 2 t-shirts I bought myself, my Teemill site remains deserted. So, when I can bear it, I’m tediously uploading my designs to another site, Redbubble. This site appears to be better known and I’m hoping I will actually sell something now.
I have the above picture on my wardrobe. Around my flat I have several quotes I find motivating. One of the pieces of advice I see in all the books I read is to keep going, keep persevering. In Jack Canfield’s ’25 Principles of Success’ he lists several examples of this at work. Colonel Sanders got rejected 300 times before someone accepted his KFC receipe. A quick google search shows me that JK Rowling got rejected 12 times before publishing her first Harry Potter book.
What strikes me is these people didn’t have a special spotlight on them that announced that one day they were going to be successful. They had to believe in themselves, despite their friends and family, however well intentioned telling them they were crazy and should be ‘realistic.’
In her book ‘Be a Free Range Human’, Marianne Cantwell asks 2 really good questions.
1) Who has told you to be realistic, stay in your 9-5 and accept life the way it is?
2) Do they have a life you want?
It was an ‘oh yeah!’ moment. Without exception, every single person who has told me to be realistic has lived the 9-5 lifestyle. Without exception, every single book I’ve read or advice I’ve seen from someone saying ‘there is more to life than this and you can have it too’, has been from someone who has already made it. Would I not be foolish to listen to the unhappy people rather than the successful people?
In his biography, Lee Mack talks about having a delusional quality with regards to his ability to succeed. I’ve noticed this in many, many successful people. They have, against the odds, believed they can achieve their goal and have gone out and done just that. I remember seeing Pink in an interview say that when she was 18, she ran up to one of her idols and said ‘You don’t know me yet, but I’m totally going to be famous’. That self-belief was clearly there again.
So, I will be patient, I will persevere and I will believe. Like Will Smith once said, you just have to decide and believe that it’s done and then wait for everyone else to see it.
So you guys, you don’t know it yet, but I’m totally going to be successful.